Column

Column: The New Job

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post… It is Friday and I am having my hair cut. Friday is my day off. Or, it was. Now Monday is my day off too. And Thursday. And Tuesday. And all the other days in-between. A recent departure from my evening

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By darrylmorris

Column: The Party

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post. I am at a party and I don’t know anyone. It’s my friend Tom’s 40th and after the shattering grief of realising I have friends turning 40, I calm myself enough to attend his soirée. We arrive at the fashionably late

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By darrylmorris

Column: The Lump

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post. I have found a lump and I think it’s safe to assume I’m going to die. This isn’t the first time. Once before I was resigned to the prospect of a journey to meet my maker, until Dr. Malhotra told me

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By darrylmorris

Column: The Beard

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post… It is Monday morning and I have a difficult decision to make. My girlfriend and I are buying a house and it’s gone to a bidding war. Uncertainty and tension fills the air around us as we frantically calculate what we

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By darrylmorris

Column: New Year, Same Me

This column first appeared on New Year’s Day in the Lancashire Evening Post. The tree is drooping and the purple Quality Street sit lonely in the bottom of the tub. Nobody likes the purple ones, do they? I think they have nuts in them and that’s like eating fruit and

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By darrylmorris

Column: The Car Salesman

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post. It is Tuesday and I am pretending to know things about cars. “I’ve found a nice one,” my girlfriend had said, “a red Ford Focus, just out of town. Will you come with me to have a look?” I am a

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By darrylmorris

LEP Column: The Big Shop

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post. It is Friday and I am doing the big shop. Alone. It’s four days since I convinced my girlfriend that I could handle it without her. “I’ve got this,” I’d said – and we both knew I hadn’t. Four days to

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By darrylmorris

Your Anti-Northern Prejudice Is Literally Killing Us

A version of this article first appeared in The Huffington Post. I’m at London Euston train station and I’m queuing for an overpriced BLT and a slice of cake. My train to Manchester is boarding but the cashier is in no hurry. She turns her face away from mine, straining

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By darrylmorris

Grazia: A Month After The Manchester Attack, Here’s What I’ve Learnt

This column first appeared in Grazia When cultural icon and godfather of the city’s prolific music scene Antony H Wilson declared, “This is Manchester, we do things differently here” it stuck. Graffitied on walls in the trendy Northern Quarter and plastered on welcoming billboards at the Airport, the city wears

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By darrylmorris

The Dog Party

This column first appeared in the Lancashire Evening Post I have been invited to a Dog’s birthday party and I am livid. I can barely muster the enthusiasm to get dressed up and celebrate a human friend’s birthday these days – now I have to pretend to enjoy socialising with

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By darrylmorris