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Three Day Pass – Bring on the Air Horn

Tuesday 11th June 2013 was a particularly long day. I was up at 5.30am to host my weekday breakfast show on The Hits Radio and had a busy day dodging riots and grumpy southerners in London. An evening event and a beer with a friend later, I got home at 11.30pm in desperate need of a good night’s sleep. What I got instead… was a light green hell.

My girlfriend Hattie does a radio show herself. She understands the importance of rest before an early start, but that night common sense was drowned in a bottle of wine and she came home in a bit of a state. By bit of a state, I mean I spent three hours holding her head over the toilet. Just as you thought it was over, her stomach would find an earlier snack we’d all forgotten about and deliver it back to us in its unique little way. At 2.30am, after pondering what hellish crime I must have committed in a previous life and with eyes like lead, I prepared a makeshift bed on the bathroom floor with towels, my dressing gown, some empty plastic bags and anything else that could be washed or thrown away. I rested her head by the toilet seat and quietly slipped into the bedroom. I’d held back her hair, patted her back, made her some water and held her hand. I was nothing short of a hero that night.

Every cloud has a silver lining. On the show the next morning, we decided I had earned myself a ‘three day pass’. A pass to do whatever I wanted without Hattie getting angry at me. People were suggesting everything from an unplanned lads holiday to getting her to cook all my meals (she does this anyway, to be honest). We settled on Tess’ suggestion of getting my own back and waking her up with an air horn. I have ALWAYS wanted to do this…

I wasn’t sure I’d live to tell this tale… but here it is…

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By darrylmorris